


Jellyfish

by Jellykyun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 06:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17913302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellykyun/pseuds/Jellykyun
Summary: "Two for the price of one, baby.""I can't even afford one."





	1. Foreward

When Renjun and his brother ran away from home the first time, it had been a hasty, unplanned adventure that ended in a police station two cities over. They'd been caught at a bed and breakfast who's owner had turned them in for nothing more than her own peace of mind and had kept their money too. It was about three in the morning, a dull Tuesday that was already blurring with the next, when the police rolled up and took both boys into custody. The worst part wasn't that Renjun was tired, or that he was sort of starving in that stupid interrogation room. The worst part was when they got in their parent's car for a three hour ride back home. From that first stunt, Renjun and Sicheng had learned three things. 

Number one, you could not survive more than a week on the street without getting mugged and losing all your money. They needed to find a vehicle next time or they'd be doomed right from the start again. Number two, it was not a good idea to just aimlessly walk in a random direction when you were trying to run away. That was probably their stupidest mistake in Renjun's opinion; not having a destination or anywhere to go. This time, and this one would tie into number three, they would have a goal in mind. For that third lesson, the brothers learned that they needed to go much farther than a different city. They needed to go somewhere no one would see the missing child posters, where there parents reach would not extend. 

This was why the second time Renjun and his brother ran away, it was in their neighbors car with two full rucksacks and pre-ordered plane tickets to South Korea. It was all thanks to that neighbor Qian Kun who had gotten them the tickets and the passports before they could even mention it. He was the only one they could trust and the only one who would know that two Chinese boys were sneaking off at five a.m. that Sunday. Oddly enough, that Sunday was Sicheng's birthday and as they sat on the plane, surrounded entirely by strangers and enemies, it was just about the best birthday he'd ever had. Both brothers had settled back into the seats and locked hands in a rare form of comforting skin ship, but it wasn't until the plane took off that either of them could finally breathe again.


	2. A Day in the Life

You never truly knew the night life until you were accustomed to harsh lights, shaking walls, and unabashed dancing. Whether from the patrons of the club, shamelessly grinding together on the dance floor in a drunk haze, or from the stage where poor souls made their living through seductive glares and little clothing, there was always movement and always the reflection of lights through refilled crystal glasses. There was always a thick film of smoke in your lungs, on your lips, and it always followed you home to whomever or whatever was waiting for you. The night life was a sheen of sweat that glittered under street lights and fled softly past your lips in giggles or dreamy speeches. It was an artificial euphoria of the most addictive kind, unless you were on the other side of it. 

For every flushed patron with a Hennessy in hand, there was one of us, in a flashy uniform with a fake smile to keep it full and keep them happy. For every pervert in the crowd, there was a dancer on stage putting aside their personal comfort to please the man and pay their rent. There was no night life for us, just business and the hope that a little more dazzle would go the distance. Personally, I had grown to accept and even enjoy the taste of someone else's cigar smoke. The smell of spilt martinis that haunted me wasn't even unwanted anymore because it was existence of a kind I'd always wanted. Working at the club was a blessing of anonymity and careless entertainment. There were no questions asked, no boundaries set, and nothing to stop me from making more than the average doctor in tips alone. How could I complain?

I was lucky enough to never work past the bar or the restaurant. They kept me busy with mixing headaches or taking orders so I never had to see the underworld just passed the velvet rope. We all knew it was there even if, like myself, we had never been personally introduced to the darker side of Toxic City. It was for my own peace of mind that I avoided staring too hard into the dance floor, or lingering too long near the stage. You never knew if you'd catch a drug dealer in the act and wind up dead in the back alley, or worse, if you made eye contact with the stage dancers and caught the moment their resolve slipped. It happened from time to time. A dancer would accidentally lose their smile and you'd be met with eyes so desperate for a break it hurt. That was always hard to ignore.

Tonight though, my shift was over by two so I didn't have to worry much longer. I'd already set to wiping down the bar and handing over my apron by one forty five, and Seulgi let me go with no complaints. She wasn't exactly keen on work, so it wasn't surprising that she gave me less than a glance though it was still something I appreciated. Being hit on by old men and drunk women was something I was more than eager to get away from so even ten minutes early was a small blessing. Steering clear of the general public, I made my way to the stairs, sound fading with every step I took upwards. This was an area off limits to everyone but employees so there was significantly less partying, but also suspiciously more glitter on the floor compared to downstairs. 

I paid no mind to the chaos and clutter headed straight for the dressing rooms down the hall. As a waiter, I myself had no need for the dressing rooms, but one of my housemates was a dancer and he would always wait for me there. Donghyuck was dressed and ready for once when I opened the door. He sprang up as if another moment on the sweat stained couch would kill him which, in all fairness, it probably could. "God, let's leave. Tenjin is hitting on me again and I might have to pepper spray him soon." 

I chuckled in response letting him loop our arms together to better drag me down the hall. I didn't mind that Donghyuck was very touchy, it was actually quite endearing considering it meant trust between us. With strangers, neither of us was quite the friendly type- unless we were working- but things changed when you were around friends. I used to think I didn't need friends in my life to be happy, or really, I didn't need to be happy to live, but the friends I had now were quickly proven irreplaceable. Donghyuck was just one of my housemates, the closest to me both in age and attitude, and  we got along brilliantly. Unlike some of the others, I had no trouble calling him my friend when it came down to it. 

Along with him, I lived with four other men of various ages and ethnicities in a house that was probably only made for two. There was my brother Sicheng who could be very sweet or downright rude with no in between. He shared a room with a Japanese boy named Yuta who could also be very sweet, but would hurt you if he had to. I had to say, I liked Yuta quite a bit because he'd adopted us as family immediately and was fiercely protective. It was comforting to know that even if I'd never ask for help, he would always be happy to provide it. Genuinely happy too, I mean. I've seen Yuta get into fist fights with a smile on his face so I wouldn't be surprised if he enjoyed the action. 

The second room of the house was occupied by two tall Korean men I'd definitely been afraid of for a bit. Johnny was practically a giant, but he was incredibly gentle and just trying his best in life. I'd quickly learned that there was pretty much nothing to fear from him as long as you weren't the enemy. Who the enemy was, I didn't know, but he'd never been anything but affectionate towards the rest of us. The other man was Jaehyun, Johnny's best friend, and he was still sort of scary after all this time. Jaehyun was often out and when we did end up around each other it was often awkward and a little cold. Johnny said he just hadn't warmed up to me yet which I guess made since considering we had all come from somewhere not so nice. 

To anyone else, two years might seem like a long time, but to some people like us it was still not enough for trust. There was a reason the eldest of us was twenty one yet we all struggled together in a run down slum house. Our backgrounds, however different, were equally messy enough to land us where we were now and I understood that Jaehyun wasn't ready to accept me yet. That was fine, I could handle an awkward silence or two. Besides, it was rare for us to be alone in the house anyway. I worked two jobs to properly contribute income, most of us did, and when we weren't working there was always someone else there to fill the silence. Someone else like Donghyuck. 

"It's fucking cold Renjun," he sighed, huddling closer as if that would help when neither of us had a jacket. "Any chance Johnny would come pick us up in the car?" 

"No," I sighed, watching my breath become visible. "You know he had to go to the far office today. It's just a little chilly, don't worry." 

Even as I said it, I regretted the words feeling the air get colder in spite. It was definitely approaching snow weather and I made a mental note to hunt down a few sweaters when we got home. Donghyuck had told me early on that we could only wear the coats to work when it was absolutely necessary. He'd explained that they were pretty quality coats and if we got jumped on the way home, which was more than likely where we lived, those would be the first things to go. We were more likely to keep our coats once it was actually snowing and no one had the energy to be outside. I'd agreed to let it go then, but now I was severely regretting that decision because I could've sworn I'd seen snow fall a minute ago. 

"We need to hurry," I said, recognizing that it had indeed started snowing and neither of us were prepared for that. 

Donghyuck glared at the sky as we sped up probably cursing out whatever diety he was into at the moment. He was rather quiet today, which was concerning in itself considering how loud Donghyuck would usually be. He was a boisterous boy with the need for a lot of attention and affection that we were mostly willing to give. He'd normally have walked slower when I told him to speed up, but tonight he'd just silently complied. I don't know whether it was fear of getting caught in the snowfall or if it had just been a bad night that prompted compliance and that was a little worrying. Had I asked, I knew he'd brush me off so instead I took to glaring at the sky with him and cursing my own Gods. 

We walked in silence, drawing closer together when the neighborhood neared both for warmth and because walking alone at night was a terrifying thing. The snow was already gathering around the lower points in the street and my concern latched onto Johnny instead. There was a chance he'd be home already, but there was also a higher chance that he was still miles away or driving. The one car we all owned was a pretty shitty model that probably didn't sell anymore. The breaks liked to freeze up in the rain and I was sure cleaning the windshield was impossible so how was Johnny supposed to get back in a snow storm? Granted, the snow was hardly a storm right now, more of a soft drizzle. 

I could tell Donghyuck was bothered too when we got to the house and no car was in the driveway. He frowned at the empty space before separating from me and unlocking the door. I didn't bother trying to stop him when he headed straight for our room in the attic. Whatever was wrong tonight, Donghyuck didn't want the comfort and if he did, the comfort he wanted would be from Johnny who was far from here. Sicheng and I had been the last to move in so I was still very in the dark on how the others came to be. Even so, it wasn't hard to tell that Donghyuck depended more on Johnny than anyone else. It was important for more reason than one that Johnny get home safe, sound, and soon. 

Distracted, I almost didn't notice Sicheng sneaking up on me. My brother had obviously been waiting up as he had a family sized bag of lays in one hand and a busted up book in the other. He greeted me with a tired smile and extended the bag. "Chip?" 

It was hard not to smile back at him. "Sure. Have you been waiting long?" 

"Nah," he returned to his arm chair and flopped back, almost managing to tip it over. "I got home like an hour ago anyway. Figured I'd wait up." 

It was true that Sicheng often worked night shifts too, but I knew he'd stay up regardless of when he got off. He was always worried about me, the others too. Sicheng would never admit it, but he was ready to go down for any one of us no matter what the issue was and I loved him for it. "Well, I'm here in one piece so you're free to sleep." 

Nodding, Sicheng took another contemplating look over his book before rising and heading for the stairs. "Will you leave the lights on when you go up? Johnny's still not back." 

"No problem, go to bed mom." 

With an eye roll, my brother disappeared up the stairs and I made my way to the basement. I vaguely remembered Yuta mentioning the coats down here, and I was determined to not freeze to death tomorrow night. Plus, there was no way I could get sleep with Johnny still out in the night. I knew Donghyuck wouldn't either so I decided to recruit him for my search in the depths of our closet. Last year, the coats had been neatly stored in boxes under Jaehyun's bed, but it seemed none of us had ever put them back. With Yuta presumably asleep, I knew we probably wouldn't find them anyway, but at least it would give Donghyuck and I something to do. I tried to be as quiet as possible on the way up the stairs and yet I still was stopped by a disheveled Jaehyun watching from his doorway. 

"What are you doing?" He asked quietly. It was a fair question considering I looked like a bad ninja portrayal on my journey. 

I fumbled for a response settling on, "trying not to wake anyone up? I was gonna get Hyuck to help me find our winter coats." 

Somehow, the night had ended in our basement, all three of us shivering and digging through strange Christmas decorations and cleaning supplies. Jaehyun still didn't say much, but Donghyuck kept the air easy and comfortable though I knew he was talking through his anxiety. In the end, we did find the coats as well as two extra blankets and some expired meat supplement in the closet. Johnny coming home had been what finally convinced us to drop the closet browsing and head to our respective rooms in hopes of a few hours of sleep. It felt right, to lay in bed with all six of us safe and evenly breathing into the night. I don't even remember falling asleep, just whispering a good night to Donghyuck from my cot and wondering if there would be coffee waiting for me tomorrow.


	3. A Change of Plans

There was coffee waiting when I woke up, much to my surprise. Our room was empty so I assumed Donghyuck would have drank it all by now, but that was not the case today. When I got to the kitchen, Sicheng was sitting there with an artificially sweet smile on his face and a coffee mug reserved just for me. That was the first indication that something was up. The second, was Jaehyun sitting down at the table for a meal with us. Donghyuck and I made eye contact across the table both knowing that something was going on here. While he took to suspiciously staring down Johnny, I turned to Sicheng and took my mug. He said nothing, just stared back with a look that said he was barely containing whatever information they had to share. That was enough for me to ask, "what's going on here?" 

"Glad you asked pip squeak," Yuta cheered, making his way in with something akin to a suit on his arm. "Can I perhaps convince the two of you to take the night off?" 

Confused, I shook my head. "It's not exactly easy to get a night off Yuta, especially on short notice." 

"You don't work today," Donghyuck muttered into his coffee. He was a bit bitter considering he never got the time off, but I only barely remembered when I did. Today, for instance, I would've gone in anyway like I had last time had he not said anything. "Why do you want us off anyway?" 

"Another great question, sunshine. My boss invited myself and my housemates, you heathens, to a dinner tonight." The confusion on my face was clearly visible as Yuta took a seat to explain. "Look, I've been working for them for years and they're an old family friend so they sort of know about this situation. My boss recently got promoted to head of the district and, since we're close and all, invited me plus you rats to celebrate." 

"Why did he invite us?" I asked. I wouldn't invite a bunch of strangers to my celebratory dinner. 

"I might talk about you guys a lot. He just wants to meet you," Yuta smiled sheepishly and it would be a lie to say I wasn't a little happy to know that he talked about us. 

Yuta's affection was always very clear to see and I had never doubted for a day that he loved us all, but to know he actually mentioned us to others was a pleasant feeling. I was a bit surprised to find out he worked with a family friend though. I'd sort of assumed we all wanted to get away from family, but an assumption was all it was. Yuta obviously wasn't about to cut ties, he was trying his best to make new ones and I wasn't opposed to it. We could all probably benefit from an expense free night out, though it was a tad presumptuous to assume they'd be paying. Then again, if they knew Yuta's situation I doubt they'd invite a bunch of poor people to dinner and expect us to pay. At least, I'd hope not.

"I'll be happy to come Yuta," I decided. 

He grinned brightly at me before setting his sights on Donghyuck. "Hyuckie? Any chance you wanna pull for a night off? Please?" 

"I can't Yuta," Donghyuck rolled his eyes. "You know the club is sus as fuck, I can't just take the night off."

"Say you have an STD," Jaehyun casually suggested as he ate his oatmeal. 

We all stopped to look at him, waiting for the man to look up and realize what he'd said. He stopped chewing and looked back, unapologetic. "What? He's basically a prostitute I thought we'd all accepted that." 

Donghyuck said nothing, but something told me he wanted to throw his coffee in Jaehyun's lap. It was Johnny who came to his defense. "Jaehyun, he's not a prostitute. Don't say shit like that." 

"He's right," Donghyuck stops suddenly. "And the STD thing will probably work but it will lose me half my pay for a week or two. You guys willing to lose that for a dinner?"

"I think we'd survive the one week," Yuta shrugged. 

"Alright," Donghyuck took the cell phone we shared and walked out back, likely to call whoever managed his side of the business. Sicheng wasted no time in swiping his coffee and downing the rest, unconcerned.

For the rest of the twenty minutes we had together, Sicheng ignored us all in favor of his book while Jaehyun just ignored us in general. Johnny took Donghyuck's vacated chair and started grilling Yuta on the people he worked with and what the night would lead to. I knew that I should probably have listened, but it was hard to focus at the thought of a night out. I'll admit I was enticed by the idea of a fulfilling meal and some free time. Our lives revolved around basic survival and never ending work days so it wasn't common for things like full meals or hanging out to occur in this house. I was, dare I say, excited for tonight despite the fact that I knew nothing about what was actually going on. It was easy to forget that I'd be completely out of my element at the mention of quality food. 

I sat in my seat daydreaming until, finally, Jaehyun stood up and the first departure of the day was made. He worked day shifts at a department store downtown so usually Jaehyun took the car. I assumed Johnny would be staying home today considering he had not even touched the oatmeal yet in favor of talking with Yuta. After a few minutes, Sicheng left as well with a slap to the back of my head and a mumbled good bye. Not wanting to sit alone with the other two, I also left the kitchen without a plan in mind. I didn't really do much during the day when I wasn't working my second job. Occasionally I'd do some cleaning or read one of Sicheng's books, but most of the time I just slept and did nothing at all. Rest was nice when I could get it so of course I took full advantage. 

Our room in the attic was the coldest in the house especially at this time of year. Donghyuck and I slept on cots opposite each other with two blankets each. Aside from the beds, we shared one wardrobe and a desk that pretty much filled the empty space. It wasn't huge, but it was home and I was at peace bundled up on my cot. For some reason, I wasn't very tired today. Maybe it was because I'd only woken up a half an hour ago or maybe it was the frost on the window that kept me awake. Either way, I didn't fall asleep, just lay staring at the roof until Donghyuck burst into our room. It was easy to see he was annoyed and I was sure the conversation hadn't been a good one. Seulgi was my boss and she was a complete sweetheart, but the dancers were managed by someone else. A strange man I'd never seen, only heard about from other workers in rumors. 

I said nothing as he also wrapped himself up in bed, turning to face me with nothing showing but his eyes. He didn't seem to want conversation and neither did I so we just maintained eye contact for a bit. Eventually, he rolled over to face the wall and I let my eyes wander back to the roof in hopes of sleep. I knew if I did manage to knock out, I could count on dreams of good food and finesse. The sense in me knew it was just a dinner, probably not even at a high class place, but I couldn't stop the dreamer in me from thinking of all the possibilities for the night. I tried not to dwell much on the people though that probably should've been my main concern. Obviously, Yuta's boss was very important to him so it was important that we made a good impression. 

Personally, I wasn't worried about the meeting because I'd always been polite. Sicheng and I had grown up force fed manners so I knew he'd be just fine as well. Jaehyun was a little concerning although I'd stopped by his job enough to see his friendly alter-ego. It was his choice whether to be his grumpy self or his job self and for Yuta's sake I hoped it would be the latter. No offense to Jaehyun's actual personality, it was just hard to get along with someone who liked acting cold. As for Johnny and Donghyuck, I wasn't really sure what to expect. Johnny was definitely a people person, and people definitely liked him so I'm sure he'd charm the pants off Yuta's boss. There was even a slight chance he could keep Donghyuck from offending anyone while we were there. 

All in all, we were likely to be a huge mess tonight, but it wasn't really my concern. If Yuta wanted us to embarrass him, that was entirely up to him and I would not be the one apologizing for it. Lost in thought, I finally managed to drift back to sleep only to be shaken awake hours later. It had already been noon when I woke up the first time, so it wasn't much of a surprise to find it five o'clock in the afternoon. It took my groggy brain a minute to understand when Yuta threw a set of dress clothes at me and shouted a cheerful, "Get it in gear runt!" 

"Runt?" I whispered to myself, stretching and finding my room empty once again. Feeling lethargic, I struggled to my feet and spent some time fighting with the button up before actually dressing myself. By the time I was ready, Yuta was yelling for me to hurry up and we were probably late. 

Downstairs, everyone was already dressed in nice clothes, Yuta the head of us all in a full suit. He stood by the door, looking anxiously at his watch while gripping the door handle. The hustle of it all almost made me nervous, but it was hard to remain so when Johnny tripped on the sidewalk. Laughing with the guys was nice, and the car ride there was nothing but camaraderie. It made me try to recall the last time we'd all been available to spend time together. To say we were never together was obviously a lie, but to be together doing something was different. No one was half asleep or brain dead as we cracked jokes in the car. In fact, everyone seemed unnaturally excited about our unexpected field trip. 

I sat in the back of our busted ride between Sicheng and Yuta with Donghyuck half on top of us, half on the floor. Jaehyun had claimed the role of driver right away and Johnny always got shotgun since he was the tallest among us, so the other seats were left to Rock Paper Scissors. It took a little over twenty minutes to reach the restaurant, obviously located somewhere far away from our shady corner of the world. It was squashed between two other restaurants, but I could tell they were no competition. Just from the people sitting outside, I could see that this place was for a class we would never be a part of. It was a unanimous agreement, that we didn't belong, as we all hesitated to leave the car. Even Yuta, who was obviously used to a finer standard, seemed to doubt himself. 

"Well," it was Donghyuck who prompted us to move with a whine from the floor. "Are y'all gonna get out or what?" 

Something flipped in Yuta's mind and a bright smile took over as he stepped out of the car. We all just followed, knowing tonight was going to be centered around our glowing Japanese friend. It was his job to lead us inside up to the desk where a woman greeted us as she did every other high class attendee. Though her smile was no different, I couldn't help but feel like they could all see through us. Every eye I thought I felt must've known we didn't belong here, but it seemed no one could tell the difference. The woman, who's name tag read Irene, asked us the same question she'd asked all her other guests that night. "Hello, do you have a reservation, gentleman?" 

"We do, with Moon Taeil. It's a party of twelve," Yuta answered. 

I caught Sicheng's gaze with a little shock. Twelve people was more than expected, though I supposed that included us. Moon Taeil must have made quite the accomplishment to buy twelve meals at an expensive restaurant. I shook my worries away, inhaling the scent of what might've been chicken marsala, in favor of committing the smells to memory. Irene was quick to lead us through the restaurant all the way back to a private room I knew had to cost extra. Life must've been lovely for the rich, going out to dinner in expensive places with private rooms. Half the time, I wished I had the money to buy myself a new pair of shoes so it was wild to imagine casual spending. Determined not to act so, well, outwardly poor, I composed myself as Yuta opened the door and we all followed him in. 

My first impression of the room was that it was huge. There was a giant window and several long tables although the party for Moon Taeil occupied only one. I watched as a brunet man jumped up and beelined for Yuta, wrapping him in a friendly hug. "Yuta! I'm so glad you could make it dude." 

"Wouldn't miss it, brother," he answered grinning like a kid on Christmas. 

When Moon Taeil turned to us, I realized he was nothing like what I expected. When I pictured Yuta's boss, it was as an older man with grayed hair and expensive cologne. Moon Taeil was much, much younger than that though he must've been older than Yuta. He greeted us with a bright smile and several firm handshakes. "You all are Yuta's roommates then. It's great to finally meet you, I'm Taeil." 

He had a strong grip and I realized he introduced himself as just Taeil, not Yuta's boss or something like that. I was still baffled when he asked us to sit and almost fell out of his own chair. Obviously, Moon Taeil was quite different from my expectations and so were the rest of his guests. The other five people at the table were quite young looking as well, no one I'd expect to work where they did. There was a charming brunet directly to my left who wasted no time in extending a hand and introducing himself. "Hi, I'm Jaemin, you are?" 

I accepted the hand noticing he'd drawn the attention of the whole table to us. "Renjun. Nice to meet you." 

"I'm Jeno," my attention was drawn to the black haired boy beside Jaemin who pushed the other out of the way for a handshake. 

Jaemin playfully pushed him back, both of them tuning out the introductions in favor of arguing. Half my attention was drawn primarily to the loud pair while the rest followed Taeil as he introduced his other company. Directly next to Taeil was a man named Doyoung who smiled thinly and sipped what was probably wine. Beside him was a very young looking Jeno and the last to be discovered was a strangely cute man named Jungwoo who had already slung his arm around Yuta's shoulders and didn't seem to be moving anytime soon. From just the introductions alone, I could tell we were in for quite the night.


	4. A Little Disaster

Jaemin was a very talkative boy. He had such a charming smile that made it hard to turn away, but I was getting tired of being pestered with questions. 

"You're Chinese aren't you?" He was relentless, pausing only to defend his drink from Jeno, who was periodically trying to take it. 

I couldn't bring myself to do much besides nod in reply. Despite it being relatively early in the night, I found myself drained and eager to leave. Yuta's colleagues weren't a particularly wild bunch, they had not done much aside from light drinking and loud conversation, but it was somehow just as tiring as a full night at the club. It seemed Jaemin was finally taking notice of my drooping eye lids as he smiled softly at me, not saying anything else and diverting his attention to the adorable boy on his other side. Grateful for the break, I assessed the table to see if I was the only one feeling so fatigued tonight. 

It was obvious that Jaemin didn't. He continued forcing his conversation on a new victim, one not so unwilling. The way Jaemin smiled at Jeno was different from the other grins I'd seen tonight and I was already forming suspicions in my mind. The two were friendly people, that was easy to see in the hour interrogation I endured and Jeno's seemingly ever present smile, but there was something between them that not just I saw. Doyoung, the man who was clearly not happy to see us, could also see it as he smiled fondly at the pair. He too was wide awake, though something told me he was also ready for this night to end. Doyoung had not spoken to a single one of us tonight, I'd noticed. He seemed adverse to our very presence although I couldn't blame him. 

Living the way we did wasn't easy and it wasn't something everyone could understand. These people came from another status entirely so I could imagine he saw us as something akin to criminals. Had Donghyuck not swaddled an entire bottle of red wine in his coat to take home, perhaps I would be offended by that assessment, but I was self aware enough to forgive Doyoung's thinly veiled glances of mistrust. The only time he seemed happy was when Taeil, alive and loud as ever, tossed an arm around him or pulled him into nonsense conversation. He'd tried such with every person around the table and only Doyoung seemed to enjoy it. Actually, they all seemed to be very contact hungry people. 

Jaemin and Jeno had maintained some form of contact throughout the entire dinner, Doyoung and Taeil were only separated in short bursts, and Jungwoo was something else entirely. Jungwoo was the type of person who would stroll into the club restaurant at seven, be black out drunk by 8, and leave with someone he didn't know in the slightest. He was very much awake, and very much drunk off just a glass or two of wine. Had he not been with friends, ones that let him cling to them, Jungwoo would probably have already found some stranger to wrap himself around. I'd gathered that it was quite normal behavior from the way none of them batted an eye. Even Yuta, Jungwoo's choice caretaker for the night, hardly reacted to him. It wasn't like I was judging him for it though, we couldn't talk. 

It wasn't until my eyes traveled to Sicheng beside me that I realized I wasn't alone in my drowsy endeavor. He was already looking at me, I realized as we made eye contact and he offered me a soft smile. Something told me he would rather be anywhere but here at the moment and I couldn't help but agree. My brother and I were not a very social set of people. We had not been comfortable in settings like this for years and though it seemed exciting earlier on, now it was not. I was prepared to go the second Yuta showed a hint of wear although that didn't seem to be in our imminent future. In fact, Yuta looked like he'd never been more awake in his life. Him and Johnny both had carried on animated conversations throughout the night and did not look to be tiring of the act. 

I had expected this, of course. Johnny was a very social person, he thrived off interactions so this was survival for him. Perhaps the only surprising thing was that he'd managed to get Jaehyun into it too. I could admit that I was a bit jealous seeing how freely Jaehyun spoke and smiled with the other guests. We had been living together for so long and he had yet to really treat me as a friend, yet here he was laughing with complete strangers. It was kind of hurtful, not that I'd ever say anything. I didn't need Jaehyun to like me or interact with me, I really just needed to go home. If I was lucky, Donghyuck would share his stolen wine with me and we could both fall asleep easy tonight. At least, I would. 

In the case of Donghyuck, I didn't have to look to know he wasn't the same kind of tired Sicheng and I were. The kind of tired Donghyuck was was the kind that never went away. I don't think he slept very much, and when he did it wasn't peaceful. He wouldn't care if we stayed or if we left, just as long as there was something to entertain him. Actually, Donghyuck was the perfect way to tip the scales in my favor because he also didn't care if he was making a scene. If I could get him to say something to Yuta, then we had a chance of actually getting out of here before the restaurant closed. Attempting discretion, I caught Donghyuck's eye and gestured toward the hallway relying heavily on the hope that he'd be sober enough to understand. 

Fortunately, Donghyuck was far from a lightweight and he got the signal immediately. I tried my best to rise silently as to not disturb those around me, but I should've expected the hand that stopped me. Jaemin's voice was innocently curious as he asked, "Where are you going?" 

"Just to the bathroom," I managed a tight smile trying to shake him off politely. That's when Donghyuck stood and finished off his glass of wine. "I'll come as well. I'm eight glasses in." 

I heard a few muttered words follow us, but Donghyuck was quick to grab my elbow and pull me out of the private room. He sighed dramatically the minute the door shut throwing me a look that said it all. "They really are airheads." 

"Are they? I haven't been paying attention." It was true, I heard nothing because all of my attention had gone to satisfying Jaemin's ongoing curiosities. 

"Taeil's been talking about tater tots for the last fifteen minutes man. Granted, he's beyond drunk," Donghyuck snorted. "They're all a bunch of lightweights too." 

"Or you're an alcoholic." 

I didn't wait to hear a response, pushing into the bathroom and checking for strangers. Finding no one, I turned to face my mildly offended companion in hopes of forming a plan. 

"What did you want junnie?" Donghyuck asked already distracted by the mirror. 

I couldn't think of a nice way to put things so instead, I went with a blunt, "I want to leave." 

"Like, you and me leave, or all of us leave?" He asked.

"All of us is preferable. Sicheng is ready to die about now." 

Donghyuck nodded slowly. He didn't bother asking why I'd asked him, he was also self aware enough to know. Instead, Donghyuck shrugged and headed for the urinals. "I'll take care of it then. You can go, I actually do have to piss." 

I rolled my eyes, but quietly left by myself. The table hadn't changed at all when I returned, not that I expected it to, except for the jacket and stolen wine of my companion's had made its way onto Jaehyun's lap instead. It was slightly surprising as Jaehyun had to realize there was a bottle of wine in there and usually he was the one encouraging us to do things the legal way. Perhaps he was drunk as well. It seemed the wine was serving them well tonight, only myself, Sicheng, and Jeno remained entirely unaffected. Well, us three and Donghyuck who had made his way loudly back into the room miraculously covered in spaghetti sauce. His entrance, unlike mine, earned a reaction. 

"Damn Donghyuck," Yuta whistled. "What did you do?" 

Donghyuck, to his credit, did look entirely honest when he said, "I didn't do it on purpose. Some dumb bitch said I stepped on her shoe." 

"Language," Doyoung chimed in, narrowing his eyes at Donghyuck.

"Sorry," he said without an ounce of sincerity. "Some cunt ass Barbie dumped her dinner on me for nothing. Any chance you're ready to go Nakamoto?" 

Yuta hesitated, looking between Donghyuck and Taeil who was not offended at all by the proposal. In fact, Taeil was the first to offer an honest apology to Donghyuck when he hadn't even done anything wrong. That's around when I decided I liked this Moon Taeil. He wasn't terrible and really, that was the best people could get in my world. Doyoung however, he was kind of terrible. 

"This is why you don't invite heathens to an upstanding restaurant." 

Now, I wasn't sure if Doyoung expected us to ignore such a comment or if he just thought he could handle the backlash, but either way he was sorely mistaken. For one, not a single one of us was opposed to fighting except maybe Yuta. For another, Donghyuck was already standing up and he was already pissed. There were several ways in which this situation could've played out. We could've had a conversation in which we educated the man on his poor judgment skills and word usage. We could've gotten up and just left without another word. There were peaceful solutions, but those were not what happened next. What happened next was Donghyuck launching himself at a somehow surprised Doyoung. 

If it were a movie, perhaps this would be the scene where it all went to slow motion just so one could catch all the details. For me, it seemed like everything sped up. One second, I was lifting the wine glass to my lips, the next, Donghyuck had a man in a chokehold and Johnny was doing his very best to pull him off. It took Jaehyun's help to actually succeed, and by then Doyoung was significantly traumatized and stained with wine that had once been in his glass. For a second, nobody reacted. Taeil, Jungwoo, and Yuta stood frozen in confusion as if their minds did not compute what had happened. Jaemin and Jeno had both jumped back out of both fear and the strange desire to see it better. As for Sicheng and I, well, this was nothing new. 

"You brat," Doyoung finally spat, breaking the silence. "How dare you attack me like that, I'll have you arrested in seconds." 

"You deserved it," my mouth moved without my mind's permission. 

Beside me, Sicheng nodded taking another sip of that stupid wine. Doyoung set his death glare on me as if it would do anything other than further prove my point. "Words do not equate to violence, but you wouldn't understand that would you, gutter rats?" 

Maybe it was that combination of words that triggered the stiffness in my back, or maybe it was just adrenaline of the moment. Either way, I was livid. "Sorry, I wasn't aware having to work for your comfort made you a rat. You should've known better than to insult someone you proclaim a delinquent as you mentioned to Taeil earlier. If it's police involvement you want Doyoung, please call them and explain why you were insulting four foreigners." 

"What? I'm not insulting you because you're foreign idiot," he sputtered. 

"Could've sworn I heard some slurs in there. Sicheng?" I turned to my brother, pretending to recall it. He was quick to play along. 

"Oh definitely. I think a threat as well. Such a shame these private rooms don't have cameras," we exchanged a mock concerned look before turning back to the man on the floor. 

"Donghyuck's a good friend, defending his brothers from a hate crime," I continued, sipping my drink. "Isn't he Jaehyun?" 

I knew from the way Jaehyun hesitated to help stop the violence that he was on our side as well. "Definitely. I spent a few years overseas myself. Hate crimes aren't welcome anywhere." 

"I'll be happy to share this all with the police when they arrive Doyoung, and your friends are too drunk to properly defend you," I stared him down honestly hoping I wouldn't have to go through with this. I knew that if it came down to our word against their's they'd win, but I was holding onto the hope that Doyoung was drunk enough to not. 

There was a tense silence as Doyoung and I maintained heavy eye contact. Nobody said anything, almost like no one really knew what to say. I was surprised that not one of them had jumped to his defense yet, though it seemed those on the top were always the ones to abandon close relations. Instead, we waited in silence until Doyoung finally broke eye contact and furiously mumbled, "Fine. No police, but I will have retribution for this." 

"I think we'll be going now," Johnny muttered, awkwardly straightening his shirt. "Uh, sorry for the disruption and thank you?" 

Our exit was even more out of place than the entrance. Donghyuck was covered in wine and spaghetti sauce with stolen goods tucked under his arm. Yuta had the expression of a lost puppy, comforted by a suddenly tired Johnny. Jaehyun had returned to his state of blankness, but something seemed to have changed tonight. He walked alongside Sicheng and I all the way to the car. In a strange way, it seemed like a sort of respect was shown. I think he appreciated that I'd stood up for Donghyuck, something only he or Johnny would normally do. It was a minuscule gesture, but it made the entire night worth it for me. I was so distracted by the possibility of approval that I almost missed the slip of paper that slid out of my pocket, a neatly scrawled phone number beneath the name Jaemin.


	5. Someone Like Jaemin

It had been a week since I even saw the slip of paper with Na Jaemin's number on it. We'd gotten home so late that all order was abandoned in favor of sleep which didn't last for most of us. Work came the next day as it always did. Even I was up in the morning because my second job functioned on normal daytime schedules. A few days every week, I worked seven to four at a craft store that was slowly making its way out of existence. There were enough workers that I was only a part timer, but also enough demand to ensure I got paid a decent amount more than I should be. The night of chaos was decidedly forgotten by the following afternoon, so of course, I had no reason to recall a mirage's contact information. Until today, that is. 

Na Jaemin. It was certainly fascinating that someone could be so forward and confident without being unlikable. He'd definitely tired me out the other night with such boundless curiosity, but I couldn't say I really minded his presence. It wasn't hard to tell that Jaemin wasn't fond of silence. As someone often shrouded in noise, I can't say I'm a big fan of constant chatter. I like my quiet times and so do the others. Someone like Na Jaemin- talkative and overly boisterous- was not at all the type of person I'd choose to be around, yet I sort of enjoyed it. I don't know if I enjoyed it enough to peruse further contact or not, something I was currently contemplating. He was a welcome new, but he was also a very unknown kind of new. I didn't know if I could really handle a friendship with Jaemin, but I supposed it couldn't hurt to find out.

"Donghyuck?" I yelled, not caring enough to pull myself off the couch. It didn't matter if we made a fuss considering we were the only ones home today. He appeared rather quickly in the stairwell with a look of displeasure that said he was probably trying to sleep. Somewhat apologetic, I offered a smile. "Do you remember the boy from the other night? The one next to me?" 

"Twenty-one questions kid?" Donghyuck snorted. "Yeah, why?" 

"Do you mind if I text him?" 

If it wasn't already obvious, we were pretty poor. Only Yuta made a significant amount of income and that was what we needed to pay the bills. That said, we only owned three phones. One phone was shared between Jaehyun and Johnny who worked together and used it for business. One phone was shared between Sicheng and Yuta, but really only Yuta used it. Sicheng was still struggling with his Korean in all honesty, so the only person he ever bothered to message was Qian Kun once in a blue moon. He also said Yuta was far too social and there was no escape from the stupid thing's notifications. So with one shared phone and one Yuta centered phone, that left one to be shared betwixt myself and Donghyuck, hence why I was asking him permission.

Donghyuck was sort of like Sicheng in the sense that he had no need for the phone. The only people he talked to were the people in our house and we both worked together so it's not like he'd miss any business calls. For this reason, I expected it when he shrugged and rolled his eyes. "I don't care what you do Renjun. Don't bother me for dumb shit." 

As he retreated upstairs, I mumbled to myself, "alright Oscar the grouch." 

Settling back into the couch, I started by adding Jaemin as a contact. I knew next to nothing about the boy yet so there was no friendly contact name to give him. Next, I opened up a blank message and typed out a very bland hello. Not sending it yet, I sighed trying to recall the last time I texted anyone that didn't live with me. I used to have normal conversations with my friends, but that felt like eons ago. I didn't remember how to talk about stupid, trivial matters nor did I remember how to make friends. How was I meant to talk to Jaemin, a seemingly super extrovert? Suddenly, I realized that this was a dumb idea. We were such different people, I doubt we'd even get along. I sighed and deleted the greeting blinking up at me. 

Then again, I started thinking, why would he give me his number if he wasn't already interested in me? Sure, he was a very friendly person, but certainly he had criteria for who he would befriend. When you were rich and happy, you were allowed to have standards so perhaps I had met his. If that was the case, then maybe he already wanted to befriend me and I didn't have to worry about it so much. I retyped the hello, hovering anxiously over the send button. Logically, he wouldn't have slipped me his number had he not wanted me to text him right? It wasn't like I planned to get particularly invested in the rich boy, I just found myself a bit curious about him. Finally fed up with myself, I added an Is this Na Jaemin? to the end and hit send. 

For some reason, my heart decided to go double speed as if this had been some great challenge I'd decided to tackle. I don't know if it was talking to another person that made me anxious, or if it was talking to someone like Jaemin, but either way I found myself a little short of breath waiting for response. Luckily for me, Jaemin was quick to reply. Yes indeed :). Who is this? I was slightly relieved knowing that it wasn't some trick and that he really had given me his number although it could end up being a trick either way. It was odd that he'd give his number to me of all people, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing it as a joke. Regardless, I responded quicker than even he had with this is Renjun from dinner. 

Rather than sit and wait for a response when a minute had passed, I turned my attention to the house in hopes of some form of entertainment. Our television worked on most days, today for sure, but I had never been very big on watching mind numbing TV shows. I also hardly read anymore considering Sicheng and I both had library cards in our parent's name and no one else had one. Well, Johnny did but he'd somehow managed to accumulate forty dollars in fines and was afraid to step foot in a library. With nothing new to read, I had no desire to pick up a book, so I really had nothing to do while I waited for Jaemin to answer. There was always a chore or two, of course, although I didn't particularly enjoy any of that.

The longer I waited doing nothing, the more appealing that last option became until finally I gave in and started on the pile of dishes in the sink. We all ate mostly oatmeal considering it was affordable and hoard-able so most of the dishes used were bowls. We owned approximately seven and a half bowls, the half being one Yuta had dropped and insisted he could fix before he lost the other half. Currently, all seven of them were in the sink along with a few spoons so it wasn't like I was doing intense work. All I was really doing was distracting myself which was the goal. It was actually sad how much of my life had become just distracting myself while I waited for something to happen. I worked, and I slept, and I waited some more. 

I sighed to myself trying to stop the thought process before it got too far. Thinking like that had never put me in a good place and all I wanted was to maintain the peace I'd had this week. My life would never be more than this, I knew that and I accepted it because it was still an improvement from where I was. At times, when I lay in bed after a rough night, cold and hungrier than ever, I start to think that we shouldn't have left. I start to remember having everything, having a future, and I have to quickly remind myself that I also had a hefty price to pay for all of that. At least when I was here, cold and hungry, I wasn't terrified. I wasn't worrying about Sicheng or worrying about the neighbors.  At least here I had my moments of happiness. 

Happiness was fleeting for everyone whether they realized it or not. For me, it came during morning meals together. It came in car rides home with Johnny and teasing in Chinese with Sicheng. I was happy when we all came together in the living room for some inane movie Jaehyun had stolen off a shelf at work. All of these moments come and go, but at least they come here. I smiled softly to myself as I returned to the couch seeing that Jaemin had replied during my short stint of internal evaluation. The notification had given me hope, the message had dampened it. I gave you my number? That was all he'd said. One would think he'd remember giving out his phone number, especially at such an eventful dinner party. 

Yes? Did you not want me to text you? I frowned wondering if I'd made a mistake in doing this. He only confused me further by replying I'm just surprised. I didn't think you would. Well, I can see how he'd make that assumption. I did try to be as friendly as possible towards the beginning of the night, but it had been hard to maintain that throughout. I knew I could be a bit unapproachable so I tried to remain friendly here at least. I'm not as harsh as I seem. Do you want me to stop? He replied right away. No, don't. Let's talk. I was curious about you. I snorted at that. That was hardly a surprise. Really? I couldn't tell what with all those questions you were asking. Are you always like that? I replied and hoped it came off as joking rather than rude. 

Thankfully, he took it the right way and quickly jumped into conversation. Somewhere in the middle, I started to notice something off. The questions I was being asked were questions Jaemin had already asked me that night. He'd mentioned that he liked to know things and that his memory was infallible so surely he didn't forget what he already knew. He also seemed quite under enthusiastic. Jaemin over text was far too calm to be the Jaemin I met at dinner. He also never revisited the smiley like he'd first sent which wasn't odd so much as it seemed like a very Jaemin thing to do. As weird as it sounded, I started to wonder if I was talking to Jaemin at all. Come to think of it, his first message to me and his second were very different in tone. 

Taking the risk, I took the opportunity to type out, this is weird since we've been talking so long already, but are you actually Jaemin? If it was Jaemin, I'd likely offend him for doubting it, but if it wasn't I wanted to know. It's not like I'd given out any huge information so far and it was a pleasant conversation, so I really just wanted to know if I was right. When an answer didn't come after a minute, I realized I was probably right. For some reason, my first thought was of Doyoung as if he'd have access to Jaemin's phone and even be capable of carrying on a conversation this pleasant. The next person to come to mind was the boy beside Jaemin, Jeno. He was the one Jaemin would not let go of with an unfairly beautiful smile. He seemed far more likely considering I suspected they were a couple. 

I'm sorry came a few minutes later. Jaem went to shower and I grabbed his phone because we're like that I wasn't gonna pretend to be him, but curiosity got the better of me. I'm really sorry. I was pretty convinced that the apology was sincere so of course I wasn't going to make a big deal about it. I'd never had close friends like this so if anything I was more intrigued. It's fine stranger, I couldn't help but tease a bit. I enjoyed talking to you just don't pretend to be other people. As an after thought, I added also who are you? I waited for the response much less anxious than I'd usually be. I wanted to know if I was right, but I also wouldn't mind much either way. To me, this situation just meant I'd make two friends today instead of one with did a bit to boost my mood. Even more so when I received Jeno, from the party, and realized I was basically a genius.


	6. We Meet Again

I couldn't say I hated the night shift. For some reason, I'd always slept a lot better during the day than I did at night so it was actually the ideal scenario for me. No, the night shift wasn't the problem, the job was. At times like this, I had to just breathe and remind myself that my job could be so much worse. It wasn't great, but at least I wasn't a dancer like Donghyuck or a dealer like Seulgi. I had to keep reminding myself that it could be worse when I spent hours navigating dizzy smiles and misplaced hands. Faceless demons of the club were always grabbing at me as if some thinly veiled lust and aggression was going to make me swoon. They would grin, and drink, and grab, and all I was allowed to do was smile through it while refilling their poison of choice. It was definitely the job I hated, but there wasn't really another option for me. 

Tonight, the club was more alive than ever due to some special the bar was offering and a concert I wished was over. The music wasn't terrible or anything, I just hated walking passed the safety of my roped off bar to deliver drinks at the front of the stage. It may not seem a big deal to anyone else, but walking onto the floor sent my heart racing no matter how many times I did it. I hated being out there because everything got tighter and hotter, and there were no more rules. On the floor, anything went. People could be as wild as they wanted with no repercussions and that was before considering the amount of dealers peppered among them. I wanted no part in dancing amongst sardines in a can so each time my service was called for, I got in and out as fast as I could. The general rule was to simply avoid eye contact and look like you had some place to be. 

I was usually pretty good at seeming threatening despite my small stature. When I first got the job, my poker face earned me a reputation beyond what I would even expect amongst the regulars. They seemed to find me a bit hostile and while I had worried it would get me fired, it had only secured me my job. The fact that I could handle myself for the most part is what kept me here. That, and a recommendation on Donghyuck's part. Though he was about equal standing with myself, Donghyuck was one of very few people who had met the owner of the club. He held a good amount of sway and I supposed I owed him for this. Before the club, my only way to contribute was stealing food from convenience stores around the town, so it was surely a step up. Was it a good job? Not in the slightest, but beggars can't be choosers. 

"Table Renjun," Seulgi snapped in my face startling me back to the bar. "Pay attention will you?" 

I shook my head after apologizing, trying to clear my thoughts. I'd been really out of it tonight for a reason I couldn't quite figure out. Not wanting to get on Seulgi's bad side, I grabbed a note pad and headed for the new table indicated by the neon sign beside the bar. It was luckily still within my safe zone so I didn't have to do as much pep talk as I'd done for the floor orders before. In the safe zone, I usually only had to deal with loud drunks and a few gropers so I wasn't too concerned. Perhaps my calm was why the universe decided to put five familiar men at my new table. All five of them were distracted enough by the seizure bubble that was Toxic City that I could have easily ducked away and never had to talk to them again. Unfortunately, I was far too attached to my paycheck to do such a thing. 

"Welcome," I coughed catching their attention and ignoring the surprised looks I received. "Are we looking for food, drinks, or both?" 

My instincts screamed at me to keep my eyes locked on my notepad, but my pride forced me to meet Doyoung's glare with one of my own. I think the only reason he didn't rise and punch me right there was Taeil's hand on his arm. Moon Taeil was still as friendly as he had been before, shooting me an apologetic smile and answering a polite, "Both. Any recommendations?"

This was good, recommendations were part of a script I'd have engrained in my memory for ever. It required very little thought. "If you're going for a full meal we always recommend the chef's special. He'll make it fit to your request, of course. There's a party special if you order three entrees as well. Three full meals, fourth one free. As for drinks, the bartender will do all classics except a Bloody Mary, she's superstitious."

Jungwoo chuckled at the last part, but it was actually true. Our bartender tonight was Yerim and Yerim insisted she was a witch and could communicate with the dead. She absolutely refused to make a Bloody Mary and I wondered how she even kept her job sometimes. Regardless, she was a great bartender and I was already planning to pass this table on to her once I put in their order. As much as I didn't want to, I kept meeting Jaemin's curious eyes and it was not a pleasant experience. The logical part of my mind knew he probably didn't care where I worked or why, but I still couldn't help but feel like they were all judging me. The only one shy about meeting my eyes was Jeno, probably due to the fact that I'd caught him pretending to be his best friend. 

The fact that he refused to look up at me could also have been insulting had I not been recently made aware that Jeno had social anxiety. Jaemin had told me pretty quickly after he returned the other night that Jeno was sort of awkward around other people. He'd practically begged me not to judge him or think Jeno weird for pretending to be him because he really just wasn't good at dealing with people. Obviously, I had already decided for myself that I liked Jeno and the whole incident was hardly a disruption to my day. Who was I to judge someone when my life played out like a talent show sob story? For this reason, Jeno was the only one at the table not making me uncomfortable. Rather, I was the one making him uncomfortable.

Realizing this, Doyoung set his dislike aside and ordered for all of them. To his credit, he did attempt to keep the dislike out of his voice when he spoke and I could appreciate that. I barely avoided one of my rowdier tables on the way back to the bar, just managing to keep upright and not embarrass myself in front of Yuta's rich friends. The table of drunks thought it was hilarious of course, everything was funny to people out of their minds. 

"Yerim," I started sweetly the second I had her attention. 

The blonde woman glared at me, sensing a request she did not want to fulfill. "Why are you being sweet with me rat? I'm not going to help you with table tanker over there." 

"Table wha- never mind. It's not the drunks I want you to take, it's the expensive looking ones at twelve," I pointed figuring they'd have moved on from watching me by now. "I know them and I don't want to deal with it. Also they want three Bloody Marys so you can personally go tell them to eat shit." 

"I'm not making any fucking bloody Marys Renjun. We can't summon that she devil or she'll kill us all," Yerim huffed not bothering to hide her glare in twelve's direction.

I couldn't help but tease, "Don't you worship the devil though?"

"No, I don't!" As expected, Yerim was beyond insulted by this. "I'm a witch little boy, I don't worship either of your stupid Gods. I worship Mother Earth and appreciate her for all she has to offer. Just for that, I'm not taking your table." 

My smile fell. "Wait, I was joking. Yerim please," I whined at her knowing she had a soft spot for the childish side of things. Unfortunately, Yerim was not moving on the decision. "Fine. Get me four Margaritas and a lemonade." 

"Which pansy got the lemonade?" She snorted turning around to get the stuff. 

"I did." 

We both jumped, neither one of us noticing Jaemin's approach until he was literally right beside us. He smiled sheepishly at our shock muttering a quiet, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." 

Quickly recovering, I gave Yerim a look and she got the message to apologize. "Uh, no problem. Sorry about calling you a pansy." 

"It's fine," Jaemin's smile faded into something genuine as he spoke. "I don't have a great alcohol tolerance and I have SATs tomorrow." 

He'd told me about that last time we talked which was on Monday. Presently, it was a Friday night and I wondered why Jaemin was even out when he had such an important test tomorrow. I could still remember what it was like to go to school everyday, always studying and never doing things like going to clubs before my SATs. Actually, I'd been forced to take the test twice before our departure and both times I'd been practically locked in my room until the day of. I remembered crying on and off both times the scores came out because I couldn't check until I got home, and I remembered crying just as much when I got home because I knew it wasn't enough. The first time, I'd gotten just a bit above a twelve hundred and that was unacceptable. The second, I'd made it closer to fourteen, but even that wasn't enough. Obviously, Jaemin wasn't feeling the same pressure.

"Renjun," he called. "Did you hear anything I just said?" 

I felt guilty realizing I'd zoned out before he even started speaking. That always happened when I started to think about the past and it never failed to make me sad. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did you say?" 

"I was wondering what school you went to. You're around my age aren't you?" 

For some reason, the question hit me harder than it should have. School had always been one of my key stressors, but it had also been something I really enjoyed. Obviously, Sicheng and I fleeing the country meant we had to leave a normal life behind, especially if we didn't want to be caught. It meant neither of us could attend school, own property, or even use a credit card for fear that they would somehow trace us back to where we came from. I tried not to think about it, but I really did miss living a normal life. Though I didn't have much freedom before, this was a different kind of containment. This kind was full of restrictions I put on myself. Rules I had to adhere to for the sake of my life weren't new, but holding myself responsible for them was. I had quickly realized that school was one of many things I'd taken for granted in life. 

Of course, I couldn't say all of that to Jaemin who was still patiently awaiting my answer while watching Yerim make the drinks. He'd come up here to change Jeno's order and had stayed only for our small chat. For that reason, I answered him honestly. "I don't go to school." 

Jaemin's expression turned to one of confusion, but I gave him no time to question. Yerim placed the tray of drinks before me and I was off with it without a second thought. He was quick to catch up, keeping stride with me until we reached his table and dropping the subject altogether. I said nothing as I passed out their drinks and took the food orders, not that there was really anything to say. Jungwoo had taken to smothering Jeno and Doyoung had traded glaring at me for talking with an animated Taeil. Even Jaemin slipped into the fray with his arm linked into Jeno's and a carefree smile on his beautiful face. As I walked away, I realized not for the first time that our worlds were probably not meant to collide. They were professional, comfortable, successful, and most of all they were content in their lives. They were secure. It was the kind of life I only wished I could find.

Once the food was out, I avoided the table to the best of my ability and focused on counting down the hours til the end of my shift. They were gone when two a.m rolled around and so was most of the Friday rush. I felt more tired than usual as I hung up my apron and tucked the tips into my shoes. Something felt off about these last few days, like something important was going to happen and it was really unsettling me. I couldn't handle any major changes at the moment nor did I want to think any harder on it. Instead, I headed for the staff rooms upstairs like I always did and collected a suspiciously quiet Donghyuck. He didn't have to say anything for me to understand why and I respected that he wanted conversation about as much as I wanted a broken leg right now. That night, we walked home silently, both in our own worlds eons away from reality, and I can say that I regret it because it would be one of the last times things were okay between us.


	7. Things Change

Looking back, there are a lot of things I regret, but none more than the day I met Chensung- or Zhong Chenle And Park Jisung respectively. It was a Tuesday, November sixth to be exact and I remembered the exact time when they knocked on the door. It was seven thirty, and no one else was home. That morning, Donghyuck had run off with Jaehyun to wherever he went every day. Since the others had to work, the house was left to me and I'd used the time to do absolutely nothing aside from casually texting Jaemin. We were talking about Greek mythology because he'd started a book based around gods and just couldn't stop talking about it. I was happy to humor him. It wasn't like I had anything else to do aside from ruining my brain with television. I had just checked the time, seven thirty on the dot, when I heard a knock at the door.

At first, I was fully prepared to turn the TV off and pretend I wasn't home. Nobody came knocking for good reasons in a neighborhood like this and if it was anyone asking about payments, I definitely couldn't answer because only Johnny and Jaehyun were supposed to live here. It didn't take long to realize, however, that the person at the door would not be going away until they were answered. I sighed and heaved myself from the couch with very little desire to do so. The knocking stopped when I got within five feet and in its place, I heard a conversation between two complete strangers.

"Maybe they're not home," the first one suggested. It seemed to be a boy though probably a young one. "Should we try again later?"

The voice that followed was much deeper than the first, possibly older. "I don't know. They said someone would be here."

My suspicion that they were children was proven correct as I pulled open the door though both were at least taller than myself. The shorter blonde jumped to attention with a loud squeak as the door opened. Beside him, a much taller orange haired boy stared down at me in surprise. It was quite obvious I was not the one they were looking for and the two exchanged a look that clearly said shit, what do we do? I wasn't going to be the first to speak, they were the ones breaking down my door, so I crossed my arms and waited as the pair mentally argued. Finally, the blonde one turned to me with a bright smile and stuck out a hand.

"Hi, I'm Chenle, this is my partn- boyf- uh this is Jisung. We were looking for," he paused and looked down at a sticky note in his hand, "John Seo. Is he here?"

"No." I narrowed my eyes wondering why in the world this weird couple wanted Johnny and how they knew where we lived. "Matter of fact, I think you have the wrong house."

The smaller one seemed intimidated by my coldness, but Jisung didn't care at all. He just slung an arm around Chenle's shoulders and took over. "Nah, pretty sure this is right. He works for Casey King right? We were supposed to come get him for the presentation thing."

I vaguely recalled Johnny mentioning his presentation during breakfast. One of his jobs was with an advertising company Casey King and he'd been preparing to present a new one for weeks. For this reason, I was worried that they'd come to get him and he was still at his other job. "He's really not here guys. I'll call him and let him know he needs to go."

"No, we have to bring him," Chenle was quick to object. Seeing the weird look I gave him, he quickly explained. "I have an intern job with them and I keep screwing up, but Mrs. King says she'll give me three more strikes. I have to bring him myself please tell me where he is."

Somehow, I believed he was a screw up intern, definitely once they both presented authentic badges from the company. Johnny had taught us all how to spot a fake, just in case since he did work for a higher class company. Still, I didn't know either one of them at the time and I was very hesitant about leading them to Johnny. I stood in the doorway debating for far longer than polite, but that hardly mattered. On the one hand, if the kids were somehow lying and were up to no good, I didn't want to give them information. On the other hand, Johnny was supposed to be home now and I'd feel like royal shit if he missed that presentation because of me. In the end, I conceded to giving them his work address and praying to God I didn't regret doing it.

Chenle and Jisung occupied my mind for most of the day and no amount of talking with Jaemin or distracting myself would make them go away. I found myself wishing I had asked for their ages because although they beat me in appearance, I was sure the duo was younger than me and why would an advertising company hire children to intern? It didn't make sense, yet they had the badges and I'd confirmed their names with Johnny immediately. Of course I'd called him the second they left just to make sure he knew. He said they were authentic workers although he was confused as to why they were coming to get him so early. He'd told me the presentation shouldn't have been for another hour and that just struck me as wrong. That feeling in my gut just wouldn't leave me alone.

It got a little easier once Yuta got home because he was in an amazing mood and could not stop talking. Conversations with Yuta were always an experience and my attention was drawn entirely to the flame that he was. After him came Sicheng who did his best to ignore the both of us and just read the same book he'd had for a month. Their presence helped ease me back into the sense of comfort I'd come to know from our house. It was almost normal. The snow on the windows and the three of us sharing a single blanket that did less than our combined body heat could. I was content to squeeze between my brother and our soul brother on the couch without a concern to be found. It was that content that warned me my something big was coming and come it did in the form of Donghyuck and Jaehyun.

Before Tuesday, November Sixth, I'd seen Donghyuck cry twice. Once when he got hit by a car- it wasn't a huge injury, just very shocking- and once when the neighbor's pit bull got mauled by a stray. When he walked through the door crying and marched straight up to the attic, I knew that my gut was right and I suddenly felt sick. Yuta and I shared a look of fearful confusion before he stood and went to follow our youngest. Before he could get up the steps, Jaehyun appeared and grabbed him lightly by the arm. Yuta froze seeing that Jaehyun too looked entirely out of place. He wasn't crying like Donghyuck, but his normally styled hair was a wreck and his button down was haphazardly put together. It caught Sicheng's attention as well and soon the room was full of tense silence as the three of us stared at Jaehyun.

He didn't meet any of our eyes, looking only at the wall and biting his lip as if he didn't know where to start. I felt shivers run down my spine as his gaze turned to me and he asked, "Did anyone stop by the house today?"

I felt paralyzed as they all turned to watch me because I didn't want to know what I'd done. I didn't want to answer the normally put together Jaehyun nor did I want anyone to know what I'd done today. I didn't want to know what I'd done today. My mouth opened, but sound refused to come out and I knew Jaehyun knew what that meant. That fear of him from our early months returned as he turned away and I watched the tightening of his jaw. Jaehyun was angry with me and I could only assume I'd done something horrible. Johnny hadn't come home yet, and he hadn't contacted any of us so it had to be something with him. The silence stretched between us so long that I began to hear a ringing in my ears. I think we all started to assume the worst as we waited for Jaehyun to speak. I know I did, at least.

"Explain," he finally sighed. "Tell me what happened."

I couldn't help but think he should be the one telling us that, though I quickly banished the thought. Johnny and Jaehyun were like brothers. If something bad happened to Sicheng, I don't think I'd want to talk about it either. Instead of being upset, I pushed aside my rising panic and tried to explain every detail of what had happened that morning. At the time, it had been so hard to remember everything. Whether it had been because of the air refusing to travel through my lungs or the panic lacing my thoughts I don't know, but it was not nearly as clear then as it is now. I managed to get it out though, and again Jaehyun left us in silence until he finally shoved his fist into the wall in front of him. The sound shocked us all and I couldn't help but jump away. Yuta too backed up, starting to shield me as if concerned Jaehyun would hit me next.

"I-" he let out a shaky sigh before trying again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to outburst." None of us said anything in response. It was obvious that he needed some space and a few minutes to get himself together which he knew too. "I'm going to go talk to Donghyuck and then we're all going to sit down and, well, talk I guess."

He gave us one last regretful look before he took the stairs two at a time and disappeared. Yuta, now fully in front of me, relaxed as he went and turned to me in confusion. I just shrugged back. I knew about as much as he did on the subject and all we could do now was wait, so wait is what we did. We sat on the couch, somehow closer than before, and waited for our hearts to stop racing. We waited for the sound of Jaehyun's fist hitting the wall to leave our ears, and for both he and Donghyuck to come back down. We waited in tense moments that felt more like small eternities until the sun had set and the lights went out. The bill hadn't been paid for the week, and they had certainly picked a cinematic moment to shut our power off. Without the hum of the heater we had something else to wait for; we waited for the sound of crying to stop.

It took so long for them to finally come down and Donghyuck was in a sorry state. He didn't bother trying to hide the fact that he'd been hard crying for hours and when his red rimmed eyes landed on me, I knew Jaehyun had told him that whatever happened was my fault. It wasn't the first time Donghyuck glared at me, nor was it the last, but it was the first time I'd seen so much malice in it. There was no further for my gut to sink, but I suddenly felt as if I might start crying too. I was somehow responsible for the soreness of Donghyuck's throat and the tears that still threatened to fall. I was responsible for the sag in Jaehyun's shoulders and the bruises on his right knuckles. We were done waiting and this was the part where he would tell me it was all my fault. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and Yuta squeezed my hand harder.

"Alright, it's not as bad as it could be," Jaehyun started. "I mean, he's not dead."

Sicheng let out a sigh of relief beside me and I felt a bit of tension release from my shoulders. We'd all assumed the very worst of course, at least it wasn't that.

"Uh, apparently our bill money last month wasn't really ours. Johnny wasn't lying when he said it was from work, but it wasn't from his paycheck."

"He stole it?" Yuta confirmed.

Jaehyun nodded with another sigh. "He lost an ad job and they weren't gonna pay him until he got another one. Good guy Johnny won't be the one not chipping in for our lives so he did something stupid and took the money from one of their safes. The company isn't stupid, they figured out it was him and they sent the interns here to bring him into work for questioning. Unfortunately, before they could even get there, the tapes proved it was him and instead the interns brought the police with them to Johnny's job."

"And Renjun told them how to get there," Donghyuck added bitterly, openly staring me down. Jaehyun gave him a warning look and shook his head.

"They would've found him either way." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Obviously, we can't pay bail, and Johnny is absolutely going to jail since he's caught on tape, so yeah."

"Even if he wasn't he'd be fucked," Donghyuck added. "Casey King fired him and so did the other job after he got arrested on their property. He's going to be locked up for years and then never work again."

Nobody knew what to say after that. I knew what I should've said, of course. I knew that I should be apologizing, begging for forgiveness, but also Jaehyun was right. They would have found him no matter what, and though I would never not blame myself, I wasn't the one who stole two hundred dollars from a major corporation. With nothing to say, we sat in a frozen silence until Donghyuck shot up and threw himself up the stairs. Broken from the trance, we all began to function again with the weight of Johnny's absence on each of our shoulders. Sicheng returned to his book, Jaehyun back to Donghyuck, and Yuta out the door to wherever he could find comfort. I didn't move for hours, staring into space and trying to comprehend that things had just gotten unimaginably harder for us. That night, Donghyuck slept in Jaehyun's room in Johnny's bed. He never did come back to the attic.


	8. And Another

Going to work was different now, among other things. I didn't walk with Donghyuck anymore, rather with Sicheng who had picked up another job nearby to cover Johnny's absence. Jaehyun too had pulled a second day job and I was in the process of finding my third. What little free time we'd had before was nonexistent now as we all worked to pick up extra shifts both to cover our bills and pay back the money Johnny had stolen. His trial was set for that weekend so we weren't yet sure how long things would be like this. All we knew was that things were different and nobody really knew what to do about it. On the bright side, Sicheng and I got in more time than we had before with our nightly travels. Though I hated that he had to work more, I appreciated the extra time with my brother.

Truthfully, meeting the others had changed our relationship. Before the great escape, the only person I knew for sure was on my side was Sicheng. We were two pieces of meat dangling in a cage of lions, but we had each other and that had been enough to get us through. When we finally found our way here, to the house with our new family, things changed. Suddenly, there was more than Sicheng there for me. I didn't need to turn to him for everything because there were other people there. The change wasn't necessarily bad, it just was, and we weren't as stuck together as we once had been. Walking to work with him each night was bringing some of that back. Conversation over nothing made it easy to forget that bad things followed us wherever we went and when he left, I hardly had time to focus on that.

Every day after the sixth, all fourteen of them, proceeded the same way. Donghyuck avoided me, Yuta did his best to keep the peace, Jaehyun pretended he wasn't about to explode, and Sicheng walked me to work. The worst part about it was that they were all the people I went to for help and now it felt like I couldn't. Everyone was upset, so they avoided the subject. I couldn't talk about it, couldn't work it through or apologize and it was driving me insane. Perhaps that's why I decided to tell Jaemin; because I'd lost my mind amongst the frustration. I figured Yuta would say something eventually anyway considering he was close with his coworkers, so when Jaemin texted me a simple what's wrong? Somethings wrong. I hardly even thought before replying.

Two weeks wasn't a huge amount of time, but people like Jaemin worked differently than the rest of the world. There was something so comfortable about talking to him that I felt like we'd been friends for much longer than two weeks. He was just so friendly and happy it was hard to not talk to him, not that I was even considering that anymore. I needed all the friends I could get right now and Jaemin was a perfect distraction, so I sadly recounted the tale of our misfortune. I don't know what I expected him to say in reply. Maybe the generic apology most use when faced with another's melancholy. I didn't expect him to promptly respond with where are you right now? A question I wasn't sure how to answer considering we were walking.

Walking to work? I replied quickly wondering if his first response had really been to just hunt me down in person. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to want me to wonder as he hadn't responded by the time I reached work. I said my goodbyes to Sicheng and gave the phone one last sweep before shoving it in my pocket and briskly forgetting its existence. There was no time to think when feeding the night life, and even less time to breathe. The whole place was filled with a thick cigar smoke tonight courtesy of a few special guests seated in my corner and if I wasn't already certain of lung cancer in my future, perhaps I would've been upset by it. No, the only thing upsetting me tonight was my complete inability to maintain a good life. There was always something I'd screw up apparently. This time I was just lucky it didn't mean fleeing the country.

For hours I worked, and paused, then worked some more. Whatever dazzle the club had on its patrons had been lost to me a long time ago and all I got from the time was fatigue. By the time my break rolled around, it felt so much later than usual. It felt like years had gone by and I could barely convince myself to walk upstairs. Once there, I finally remembered Jaemin and found myself faced with three missed messages. The first was simply, Do you need a hug? It was cute and likely would've led to a very soft conversation had I been able to answer. Instead it lead to, Renjun? And then finally, you should go outside. Startled, I checked the time on the message to see it had only been sent fifteen minutes ago. Jaemin hadn't actually come out here had he?

With renewed energy, I rushed down the stairs and fought my way to the front silently praying that fifteen minutes wasn't too long. True, Jaemin and I weren't close close, but I would take any comfort at this point especially from a boy who instantly dropped his life at two am just to see me. Well, if he had indeed come to visit which I wasn't exactly sold on. Wandering the front, my excitement faded as I realized there was no Jaemin there. He wasn't amongst the patrons in line, or off to the side with the boy at the bus stop. I sighed and almost turned back before it clicked. That boy at the bus stop, I knew him too. Upon second glance, I was certain that the awkward stance of a slightly anxious boy was indeed Jeno, so naturally I approached him.

"Jeno?" I wasn't sure how to greet him. Since our first conversation, I had only heard of him from Jaemin's never ending stories. "Did you take Jae's phone again?"

Jeno jumped a bit at my approach and smiled warily back at me. "No, this time I was sent by the king himself."

"Sent?" Why would Jaemin send Jeno to me? I didn't even know him. As if sensing my thoughts, Jeno explained.

"I know we're basically strangers, but he dragged me out of bed and told me his Chinese boy was sad and needed a hug- yes those exact words- and he said I had to do it," Jeno chuckled. "Jaemin's a little unpredictable."

I couldn't lie, his Chinese boy was a title I didn't know how to respond to. Either Jaemin did not know many foreign people, or he considered me special, neither option explaining the fact that he'd sent someone else in his place to see me. "Uh, no offense or anything, but, why?"

Rather than answering with words, Jeno gave a light tug on my arm and pulled me closer. For a second, I panicked until I realized he wasn't holding hard enough to be considered threatening. Rather, Jeno's grip was light and his actions slow giving me the chance to pull away if I did choose to do so. I was more curious than scared letting him pull me to his chest and wrap his arms around my shoulders. It was odd for all of a second before I conceded that Jeno was actually an amazing comfort. He seemed to be wearing a million layers of coats and the hug was somehow the warmest I'd been since winter started. Involuntarily, I softened into it and even found myself squeezing back. I hadn't even realized how starved I'd been for affection the past few days until I found myself in someone's arms.

When I finally pulled away, the awkward feeling returned and I found myself making eye contact with the concrete. "I guess I see why."

Jeno gave me a quiet laugh in response. "Jaemin says my hugs will bring world peace."

"Oddly enough, I can see it," I joked. "Uh, thank you for coming out here. You really didn't have to do that for me."

"It's not a problem. I actually don't live that far from here." His smile was far too endearing for my sanity. I had to look away.

"Still, you don't know me so I appreciate it." I wasn't sure what to say after that and the awkward tension was worsening with every second. Gnawing on my bottom lip I finally just gestured back at the club and spoke. "I should probably get back to work so, maybe I'll see you again some time?"

Jeno nodded also seeming grateful to end our interaction. I didn't take offense to it, of course he felt weird here, his best friend dragged him out of bed to go comfort a stranger. I didn't know whether to yell at Jaemin or thank him for causing this strange interaction so for now, I just offered a tiny wave goodbye before heading back to the doors and leaving Jeno in the cold night. I was instantly sucked back into work and all former thoughts were abandoned. I drowned my anxieties in other people's alcohol until my fake smile stuck and Seulgi wasn't yelling at me to move faster. From there, life proceeded as it always did. That is to say, it proceeded agonizingly slowly through a thick film of regret and haphazard working.

I finished closer to three tonight, undoing my apron and skipping the step of picking up Donghyuck. The first few days, I'd tried to go up and bring him home with me, but he was very good at not being found. After that I'd given up and taken to waiting on the curb for Sicheng to show up, or more often than not, finding him waiting for me. Tonight was one of those where I found Sicheng sitting both half asleep and highly alert on the curb. He was quick to rise and pull me away from the sketchy club members always muttering something about drunk idiots under his breath. He calmed down once we put a block or two of distance between us and them, but he still didn't do much more than mutter. It was understandable. We were both exhausted and ready to fall into bed, why bother discussing anything?

I didn't end up getting to bed until four that morning due to an unfriendly altercation in the living room between Yuta and Donghyuck. It wasn't just me he was being a brat to, it was everyone. He'd been short with Yuta and Sicheng the entire week and only Jaehyun seemed to be exempt from Donghyuck's reign of terror. It seemed tonight that Yuta was tired of it and I couldn't blame him. I just wished they hadn't decided to have a screaming match in the middle of the living room while we were trying to sleep. It was so loud our neighbors screamed back, something Sicheng found hilarious, until Jaehyun dragged Donghyuck into their room by the back of his shirt and locked the door. I was too tired to even really notice Yuta leaving, just grateful for the argument to stop.

The last thing I did before falling asleep was check my phone finding a message from Jaemin and one unknown number. I checked the unknown first already having an idea of who it was. I was correct of course, finding a very awkward introductory message from Jeno that made me smile. Saving his contact, I moved onto Jaemin's message. It was just a very smug You're welcome~ with about twelve heart emojis that was surely considered excessive. I rolled my eyes and typed what I hoped would be a sarcastic thanks. After that, there was nothing keeping me from another night of dreamless recharging. Even in sleep, there was nothing I could find to look forward to. It was all just, empty.


	9. Time Goes On

"What did you want me to do, your highness?" The sarcasm dripping from Yuta's words did nothing for Donghyuck's attitude.

"Literally what I fucking asked you," he fired back.

It had become a routine thing, these fights. Yuta was a generally wonderful guy. He was bright, optimistic, and empathetic, but he also had a short fuse. It was a small problem really, since there was usually nothing happening that set him off. When there was though, oh boy, it was best to steer clear of him until the fire died down. Combine that little issue with Donghyuck's ability to irritate even inanimate objects and you got the equivalent of a forest fire in our living room. At first, we had all done our best to stop it. If the fight started, whoever was closest would end it, but that changed when Sicheng accidentally got hit. From then on, neither he nor I made their fights our business. We were no Jung Jaehyun.

"Stop fighting like fucking two year olds," he spoke calmly, but with an expression that said defy me and die. "We have a trial to get to if you're done."

On a normal day, Donghyuck probably would've bit back at him until Jaehyun dragged him away. Today, the word trial was all it took to bring him back to earth and end the argument. Something in me almost wished they'd continue fighting. At least then I wouldn't have to watch Donghyuck deflate like a week old balloon. He marched off to the car without another word muttering how we were late to watching Johnny's future decided. Personally, I didn't think it mattered whether we were on time or not, he'd be arrested regardless. We all knew there was no getting out of it, only Donghyuck was still hoping they'd set him free. It was clear in his eagerness that he still had that hope, and that might be the only reason Yuta too dropped the fight and shuffled to the car.

This time, Yuta sat in the front and Donghyuck on the other side of Sicheng. There was room in the car now for all of us, at least, although that might've made things worse emotionally. It was very, very evident that Johnny wasn't there and that we were heading to his theft trial where he would inevitably be convicted and put in jail. Needless to say, it wasn't a good feeling and it wasn't a pleasant car ride to the courthouse. Why we even bothered to come I didn't understand. Sure, moral support was nice, but I doubt seeing Johnny get convicted was going to improve Donghyuck's attitude and I know Johnny wouldn't want him to see it happen. If the outcome wouldn't change, and nobody would benefit, why were we still going? Well, the answer was simple: Jaehyun said so.

As we awkwardly navigated the unfamiliar courthouse, Jaehyun was at the head of us looking like he actually knew where he was going. Each step was purposeful and you'd never be able to tell how lost he was just from watching his face. It was easy to forget that this was personal for Jaehyun too. I liked Johnny, of course, but I didn't know him like they did. He was family, but he was like a freshly born sibling that you loved despite not knowing yet. To them, it was different. One thing I'd learned over this rough patch is that he and Jaehyun grew up together. They had a bond much stronger than even Donghyuck had with Johnny and it was so easy to overlook that. Now though, it was impossible to miss. The strain was visible in the wrinkle between his eyebrows and the tense set of his shoulders. One could almost call it anger, but I knew better.

That tension was something I myself was very familiar with. A physical manifestation of the fear you aren't allowed to show. Jaehyun was afraid for his brother as we sat down to watch. He was afraid of the attorney already standing and waiting to tear Johnny apart. He was so afraid of what happened after this hour, and I couldn't blame him. People like us lived a life afraid, sometimes not even knowing that's what it was. Afraid that your next meal would never come, or your next paycheck wouldn't keep the house and pay the bills. It was a constant anxiety that never left because your situation would never change. I think every one of us was scared. Donghyuck for the sake of Johnny, Yuta for the security of our home, Sicheng for the future of us, and I for the unknown that would follow. The only person holding his head high was Johnny at the podium with a soft smile and a thumbs up that completely contrasted his situation.

Perhaps that was one of the things that made it impossible to hate Johnny. He had this positive way about him that never left no matter the situation. He could be scary when he needed to be, but more often than not he was full of love and warmth for everyone. Even the attorney seemed taken aback by the positive attitude he displayed as they began the trial and it was there even as it ended. It was quick as I'd expected because there was very clear evidence against him. It was clear to the point that Johnny didn't bother pleading innocent, just went for guilty in hopes of a lighter sentence. In the end, the judge gave him a two year sentence with the possibility of parole and Johnny was walked out in handcuffs while Donghyuck viciously fought back tears. He quickly turned and shoved his face into Jaehyun's chest.

Watching him shake and Jaehyun gaze unfocused at the door Johnny had vanished through was too much. I turned to Yuta on my other side instead. "I didn't know you could get such a long sentence for two hundred dollars."

"Two hundred?" Yuta snorted. "Kid, Johnny didn't steal two hundred, he stole two hundred thousand."

Shocked, I felt my mouth drop open which Yuta thought hilarious. I truly thought he'd taken a simple hundred, but a hundred thousand? What the hell was Johnny thinking? He worked for the company, he had to know that there were cameras everywhere. He had to know that this was the stupidest decision he could've made and yet he made it. As we walked out of the court house, I couldn't quite wrap my head around that fact. I guess desperation really did drive people to do crazy things, but were we really that desperate? Sure we weren't making the most, even Yuta was payed pretty cheap for where he worked, but there were six of us. Five now, I supposed. There was no way we needed money that badly which brought me to another train of thought entirely.

I didn't want to think it, nor did I want to ask, but I couldn't shake the suspicion that the money Johnny stole wasn't exactly for us. From years of experience with shady business deals, I began connecting dots I hadn't even seen before. Johnny worked for a mega corporation making the salary of a janitor. He spent most of his time in a different district claiming work for his other job and often took calls in the basement where there was no chance of being overheard. Sometimes, he'd come home roughed up blaming it on the muggers in the area which, to be fair, was entirely possible, but maybe it was something else. Maybe Johnny's other job wasn't exactly what I thought it was. Maybe he owed a little to much to the wrong person. That would certainly explain the sudden desperation, though it worried me to no end.

If Johnny had gotten himself into money trouble, enough to steal two hundred thousand dollars, surely that wasn't going to just go away. I knew enough about the back alley world to know that money would be found one way or another and unfortunately, another would mean us. If Johnny was messing with the kind of people I knew, they would go for the people closest to him. They would go for Donghyuck who was sitting in the front seat this time desperately trying not to cry. They would go for Jaehyun, a man lost to his thoughts and driving solely on autopilot. They would go for all of us, the little support group of idiots gathered by shared struggle. My fears swarmed at the thought, and before I knew it I was in a space of panic, one that carried me all the way home.

For the rest of that day, I kept to the confines of my cot in a room I could now say was my own. Donghyuck had come during the week while I was at my second job and rounded up his stuff including the heavy blanket we'd trade off with through the winter. I wasn't all that upset about it. The cold wasn't new to me and he needed the comfort more so I curled into my two thinner quilts and watched my breath fill the room. It was hard to tell just why I was afraid, but I was. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't do well with change or maybe it had to do with how little I really knew about the world anymore. Maybe it was just who I was, always the terrified child clutching at his elder's sleeve in the face of the world. When I was young it was my mother who stood before me and as I grew it became Sicheng. Even now, I was hiding behind the people of our house because everything was terrifying.

As if sensing my inner struggle, there was a knock at the attic door where Sicheng's head appeared. I offered him the best smile I could as he made his way to the edge of my cot which I'm sure was entirely unconvincing. Somehow, he just always knew when I needed him. Sicheng had always been an idol to me. Ever since I was a young child, he had been this force of happiness and safety in an otherwise joyless place. Before I learned how to handle my thoughts, I poured them out to him. Before I learned to bite back my tears, they made home on his shoulders. He was my protector, my big brother, and that was comforting. We were never really talkers, him and I, but I didn't need him to speak to make me feel better. He situated himself laying down beside me and things were better. He opened his book, resuming a read he had done countless times, and things were better. There was something calming about just being with the people you trusted and it settled in that freezing attic as we laid there.

I think had Sicheng not decided to speak, I'd have slept through the night just like that, but he did, turning to me after a minute or two saying, "It's almost Christmas."

I hummed in response. Christmas had been the last thing on my mind as of late and it hardly seemed relevant now.

"That Jaemin kid was texting you about it, but I think Donghyuck blocked him." 

I rolled my eyes at that. "That's childish. He can be mad at me if he wants but I'm still allowed to talk to who I want."

"I agree," Sicheng closed his book and shuffled around producing a smallish box from his pocket. "That's why I was thinking you may want an early Christmas gift."

My eyes widened at the sight as I realized what it probably was. "Sicheng we can't affor-"

"Too late," he chuckled. "I already bought it before the whole Johnny disaster."

"But we'll still have to pay for the line," I protested. "I can't add another bill with all this going on."

He placed the box in my hands covering them with his own. "Don't worry about it, okay? The line is covered and it won't hurt us at all. You should just get it working and text your friend before he thinks you hate him. I think he wanted to meet up."

I wanted to argue more, but stopped at the mention of Jaemin. I couldn't remember if he knew Donghyuck and I shared the phone or not so it was very possible he thought I'd just blocked him at random. In the time it took me to contemplate that, Sicheng had stood from the cot and had one foot out the door. It was a little overwhelming, knowing he had probably put in so much work just to get this and I almost wanted to tear up as he turned back. Despite the distance that had come with our new lives, I knew that Sicheng would always be my protector, my big brother, and I would always have that comfort there. The glance back was brief and it was only to whisper a quick "Merry Christmas Renjun," before he shut the door. I heard his footfalls down the stairway and only once they hit the ground floor did I fully recognize that there was a gift in my hands. Perhaps it was a sign that there were still good things to come.


	10. Happy Holidays

It had been a few years since we really celebrated Christmas. We had the money to spare, but there was no real holiday spirit in our family. The only christmases I did remember were quiet ones. Twelve on the dot Christmas morning I'd sneak my way to Sicheng's room where he'd be waiting with hot chocolate and the mini tree we hid from our parents. There were rarely presents, but that wasn't the point. Every once in a while, we'd get lucky and as we sat to watch the sunrise we'd be met with snowfall instead. I used to think it was magical, the window and the snow and our hidden holiday. As I got older, I realized it was just sad. Like everything else, Christmas became a reminder that things were very wrong. While kids played in the street, and presents waited under trees, Sicheng and I sat in his room freezing. That was always Christmas.

Our routine changed when we came here. Johnny and Yuta were big holiday people and there was never a Christmas yet without music and joking. We got a tree last year although I think it may have been stolen and even a few presents were exchanged. Christmas morning there was still snow and Sicheng and hot chocolate, but here there was also family. There was a sense of togetherness I had never associated with the holidays before I'd met them and for that I was forever grateful. Waking up to Christmas carols on Christmas Eve and decorations I didn't even know we had was delightful. When the day itself rolled around it was anything but quiet. The first year, Johnny had rounded us all into the car and we drove around in search of Christmas lights. We went into neighborhoods much more lavish than ours simply gazing out the windows in awe. That had become Christmas.

This year, there were no Christmas carols as I rose on Christmas Eve, but I hadn't expected them. Yuta was working today, something he would never do had it not been so suffocating in this house recently. I knew my brother was still asleep and the other two wouldn't leave their room until we were all gone, so I dressed quickly and did my best to silently slip down the stairs. It was freezing out, my jacket a little too thin to do the job as I locked the door behind me. Double checking that my new phone was securely in its pocket, I set out down the street in search of both warmth and the restaurant Jaemin had insisted on meeting at. As Sicheng had said, Jaemin did want to meet up and he was ecstatic to hear I was willing. He'd planned his whole day out to the minute and for some reason, he was starting it off at breakfast with me. I couldn't help but feel a little giddy about the invitation.

The place he'd chosen was like a diner. A squat building with thick glass windows exposing its bar and tables. Instinctually, I searched the place for Jaemin finding him at a booth in the very back. It wasn't much of a surprise to me that he wasn't alone either and it was Jeno who spotted me first. He flashed me that endearing eye smile as I walked through the door and it was warmer than any hot chocolate I could've ordered. Making my way back to them, I wondered how this had even come to be. Jeno was still anxious with me, his texts always a bit awkward and careful, but I think he was starting to warm up. The other day we'd had a full conversation without him apologizing even once so I'd say that was progress. As for Jaemin, he was the complete opposite of his best friend. Everything about him was confident to the point where he sometimes made me uncomfortable. Both of them, in all their contrasting glory, had somehow made the time for me today.

"Morning Injunnie!" Jaemin chimed the second I sat down. He was already nursing a cup of black coffee in his hands and raised it in a greeting cheers. "Welcome to the Chats."

"Good morning Jaemin," I couldn't help but smile. "And Jeno."

Jeno had trouble maintaining eye contact, looking instead at his menu as he spoke. "Hi. Hope you don't mind that I tagged along."

"Of course not," I dismissed that instantly. "I'm surprised either of you are out on Christmas Eve." 

Jaemin smiled brightly at me, gesturing around the place. "Only fools go out to eat on holidays, but the Chats is special. Only locals know what they're missing so it's rarely packed. Plus, I wanted to see you."

For some reason, I felt the pink rise to my cheeks at that. It was hardly as deep as I was reading into it. "I hope the food is good," I said, taking a page from Jeno's book and staring at my menu.

Jaemin shook his head, clearly amused and sighed out, "My shy boys."

Giving him a curious look, I received only a head shake in reply as he took another sip of coffee. I didn't consider myself Jaemin's anything, but he liked to say things like that. In person and over text, Jaemin was a flirty person. He liked attention and affection and would freely give it even if you didn't ask. Being someone who didn't ask, it always startled me when he called me his anything. I knew that it was just the way Jaemin was, that it didn't mean anything, but there was also something very nice about having friends outside my tiny family circle. Again, I'd had friends back home, but they weren't real friends. Jaemin and Jeno weren't quite real friends yet either. We were getting to know each other and while both were rather forthcoming with information, I knew I was not. I couldn't say I really trusted them yet. Enough to bring small issues to them, yes, but not anything near the trust I'd need to match their openness.

Still, when Jaemin smiled at me it made me happy and that was more than enough for now. We all made small talk over our menus, them discussing school and I joining when the topic turned to other aspects of life. Eventually the waitress came, a sweet woman who's name tag said Dara. Ever the dominating personality, Jaemin went first spewing charm with every word. It was amusing to watch, but when I turned to see if Jeno shared my cheer it was softened by the evident concern. He looked up at me only briefly with a tight smile then back at his menu to mentally reread his order. I was suddenly reminded of Jeno's anxiety. I didn't know much about the disorder as I only really experienced panic in situations it made sense to, but I knew that things like communication were harder for him than they were for me. As Jaemin rounded off his order of practically everything on the menu, I took a peek at Jeno's and began.

"Can I have the blueberry pancakes with a side of hasbrowns and a sunrise sampler for him," I glanced across to verify I'd gotten his order right before continuing. "Can I also get a strawberry milkshake?"

Dara didn't bat an eye at the fact that I'd ordered for him, just finished up, took our menus, and left to put in the order. Jeno, however, was startled by the interaction and gave me the most awkward thanks. "I'm sorry I was kind of freaking out. You didn't have to do that but thanks."

"Not a problem," I reassured him. "So, what do you guys have planned for the rest of the day?"

"Well," Jaemin lit up excitedly as he began. "After breakfast Jeno and I were going last minute gift shopping. We normally don't do that, but somebody broke Doyoung's gift and we have to get something else or he'll never shut up about it."

Jeno frowned at him in disapproval. "We're getting him a gift because it's the kind thing to do and because you broke the one we'd already bought."

"Anyway, gift shopping will lead to gift wrapping because we also haven't done that yet. At twelve or so we have lunch at home-"

"Whose home?"

"Yours Jen. After lunch I volunteer at the hospital for a few hours. I don't know if Jeno's coming this time, he struggles with children," Jeno glared at him for that, insulted. "Then we gather at Taeil's for dinner and that should be the day."

"Sounds busy," I supplied not knowing what else to say. "You two seem to be attached at the hip."

"Nana is impossible to shake once he's latched into you," Jeno rolled his eyes. "Run while you can."

Jaemin pouted at him. "I'm a fucking delight, thank you very much."

I watched the two bicker for a minute, content to listen. They were clearly very close friends and it was a curious thing to watch. Jeno was entirely comfortable when it was Jaemin he was talking to and Jaemin was never not smiling when he met Jeno's eyes. Briefly, I wondered if there was something a little more than friendship going on between them. The way they looked just seemed so loving. I almost wanted to ask before I remembered that this was not a very forgiving place. If they weren't gay they would likely be offended and then I'd be out two friends just as quick. Also, I doubted that they would tell me if they were a couple considering I could be homophobic. It wasn't the safest world out there and while I was far from hateful, there was no way for them to know that. Understanding this, I simply waited for the small argument to die down before carrying on our conversation.

"So you spend Christmas Eve with Taeil?" I asked, genuinely curious. I thought it was usually a time to spend with family and such, not your boss.

When the mood dropped, I realized I had not chosen the best question, but Jaemin answered before I could take it back. "Ah, yeah. My parents died a long time ago and the rest of my family and I kinda had a falling out. Taeil's nice enough to let me invade his Christmas though so it's okay," he tried to finish with a positive attitude, but I'm sure it made him sad.

"Oh god, I'm sorry." I wanted to punch myself in the face. Insensitive much? "I'm glad you have Taeil then."

"Yeah, me too," his grin was small but it was still there. "Before I just snuck into Jeno's house at three in the morning and gave his mother a heart attack."

"He did," Jeno confirmed as if I'd doubt such a thing from Na Jaemin. "Imagine someone breaking into your house on Christmas and that being how you find out Santa isn't real."

I chuckled at that. I had never believed in Santa since we hadn't been raised on fairy tales of the sort, but I knew it was an integral part of most childhoods. "How could you ruin Santa for him Jae?"

"I didn't mean to," he quickly defended. "It was his mom! She was the one who was all 'it ain't Santa Jeno, he doesn't exist. We're being robbed'."

"She really said that to me," Jeno whined, evidently still upset to this day.

"To be fair," Jaemin snickered. "Thirteen is a little too old to still believe in Santa."

Once again, the pair dissolved into harmless argument. Jeno attempted to defend his former beliefs while Jaemin just did his best to rile him up further. The entire time I watched with a smile, happy just to be a part of what they were together. With it snowing again outside, and a hot stack of pancakes before me, I really thought this was the best Christmas Eve yet. There may not have been songs and presents. Maybe Sicheng was still asleep and my hot chocloate had been traded for a coffee, but there was the warmth. There was the tall, decorated tree in the corner, and two beautiful boys in the booth in front of me. It would've been a lie to say there wasn't a part of me that wanted to stay in this minute. I wanted to stay in this bubble of diner with Jeno and Jaemin, just laughing and talking about nothing in particular. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like just another normal person and maybe I really really liked that.


	11. Welcome

I think the happiest I'd been before that New Years was back when I couldn't comprehend life. Times before I had memories and responsibilities haunting me, that's when I was happy. At least, I assumed so. Since then, the only time that really compared was probably that New Years and again, it might have had something to do with my new friends. Some days, I remembered so clearly I thought I could relive them, like the day our lives all fell apart. Surprisingly, this day was not one of them. I did remember the highlights of course, but only in the way you'd remember your first party getting wasted. It was a sensation more than it was a memory. I could remember what it felt like to be there, in Taeil's house, but not quite what it looked like covered in streamers, confetti, and spilled alcohol. Of course, I'll do my best to recount anyway.

It started rather unremarkably, as all my days did. I was still content from my holiday experience and in a suitable mood before I ran into Donghyuck on the way to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes the second he saw me, but I greeted him regardless. "Good morning hyuck."

"Maybe for you," he bit back, quickly retreating to his cave upstairs.

Maybe it would've bothered me at the start, but I didn't care much anymore. Donghyuck was upset, as he had every right to be, and that was just really not my problem. If he wanted to be childish and dwell I'd let him, he'd be doing it alone. As for myself, I'd be making myself some coffee and getting on to my day job. Money wasn't making itself and I found I no longer disliked being out of the house. I got where Yuta was coming from now, working on the holidays. It was much better than dealing with the attitude of an overgrown two year old at home, so I quickly donned my coat and went on my way. It was so much different walking alone during the day, the main thing being it was much safer. I didn't have to rush along and pray I didn't slip in the icy road. Instead, I took my time getting to the store, a calm, content feeling settling around me. Today, for whatever reason, felt like a good day.

The work hours passed in a numb normalcy. Nothing particularly memorable ever happened while I was behind the counter so I'd taken to texting the group chat Jaemin had made instead. I'd never realized how great it was to have my own phone until I actually had it and now I was certain I couldn't live without it. I may have only had five contacts, but that was all I needed and Jaemin made sure to keep me busy all by himself. It didn't surprise me that Jaemin texted a lot more than Jeno did. The group chat was more often than not full of message spam from the youngest of us when he didn't get an answer. Jeno was very different, texting when spoken too and rarely ever starting the conversation. He had warmed up to me, but only as much as he did to anyone else. My observations had led to the conclusion that Jeno was only entirely comfortable around one person and that was fine with me.

Today was one of the first times he'd ever taken it upon himself to start conversation and it had been to invite me to a party at Taeil's house. Once the idea was put out into the world, Jaemin latched on hard and wouldn't drop it until I'd rolled my eyes and threatened to block him. Despite them thinking it was a wonderful idea, I thought back to the last time I attended one of Taeil's parties and how it had led to threatening a drunk man into silence. Doyoung had surely not let that go yet, so I was hesitant to agree. For the rest of my shift, I contemplated whether the offer would lead to something good or something bad. Ultimately, it didn't matter what I thought because Jaemin was awfully good at getting his way especially when Jeno was the one making plans. It had been fifteen minutes til the end of my shift when Jaemin asked if I wanted a ride home. He'd sounded sincere about already being out and just wanting to help so I happily accepted.

Wrapped up in my jacket and a scarf my coworker had forced around my neck, I waited on the curb for my chauffeurs to appear. Surprisingly, the car that pulled up didn't look much better than ours and Jeno sat smiling in its front seat. Jaemin, in all his enthusiastic glory, was leaning out the passenger side window as if I would ever be able to miss him. "Hi Injunie!" He greeted. "Did you miss us?"

"It's only been like a week," I retorted smiling regardless.

"A week too long," Jaemin sighed, turning up the heat the second I got in. Jeno pulled away almost immediately, starting in the right direction as if he already knew where to go. I placed myself in the middle seat, leaning forward so I could pop my head between the front seats and properly speak to the pair.

We didn't talk about much, just the weather and how Christmas had gone. Normal things people discussed to pass the time were distracting enough that I forgot to give Jeno any directions. He didn't need them, of course, because he'd never planned to take me home in the first place. Instead of my house, we pulled to a stop in front of a tan two story that edged into a wealthy gated community. It didn't take long for me to understand that I had been tricked and kidnapped and was likely to be forced into a New Years party with some people who may hate me. "I'm never getting in a car with you two ever again," I shook my head. "Which one of you lives here?"

"That would be me," Jeno smiled sheepishly. "We promise it'll be a fun experience, just go along with it."

I don't know why I let it happen, or at least, I didn't know why then. I followed them to the doors of Jeno's house with an unwarranted nervousness floating in my gut. It was certainly a nice place, both inside and out. We ditched our shoes and coats at the front door and I marveled at the interior as we walked to the kitchen. The house was basically spotless, something I would later learn was the fault of the maid, and it very clearly screamed upper class. Though I never wanted to admit it, I felt unreasonably jealous walking into Jeno's house for the first time. Once upon a time, I'd lived the same way if not better, but there had never been a home in our house. Here, pictures of Jeno and family littered the house. I could hear people talking and the TV, and when we finally reached the kitchen his mother was there reading over a cook book. She didn't notice us at first, too wrapped up in her lunch plans, but when she did she boasted a brilliant smile.

Jeno's mother and he shared the same smile. She was shorter than her son by about an inch, but it was clear as day that they were related. Her black hair was pulled into a lose bun and the wrinkles around her eyes told me Mrs. Lee had lived a long, happy life. I instantly loved her, and I like to think she instantly loved me too because she greeted me like a new friend of Jeno's was a new friend of hers. "Hey boys. Are you staying in tonight or going ou- oh! Hello, I didn't know we met someone new. Jeno hardly brings anyone else home."

"Mom," Jeno whined. "Don't make it sound like I have no friends."

Mrs. Lee tutted her reply. "I'm not saying you have no friends, honey, I'm saying you have one. No offense to Jaemin or anything, but you could both use a little outside contact."

"I agree with you Mrs. Lee," Jaemin wrapped his arms around Jeno's back. "Our Jeno needs more friends. He's going to end up a hermit in the woods."

Jeno shoved him off with a pout, "why is it make fun of Jeno day?"

I bit back a laugh thinking it would only make Jeno pout further and that pout was already going to be the death of me. "It's alright Jeno, my only friends are the people I live with."

Mrs. Lee laughed lightly. "Nothing wrong with your parents being your best friends, I guess."

I smiled but something in me automatically tensed at the mention of my parents. As always, there was a feeling of panic that tagged along with their memory, especially when I was talking to an adult. In an effort to prevent either Jaemin or Jeno from correcting her, I replied, "Can't make fun of me like you do Jeno?"

Sensing the message to keep their mouths shut, Jeno resumed his whining. "Yeah, mom that's not fair. If it's okay for him it should be fine for me."

Sticking his tongue out, Jeno latched onto both of our wrists and promptly pulled us out of the kitchen. The sudden skinship wasn't exactly unwanted, but once he realized the staircase would not fit all three of us across, Jeno dropped my wrist and led the way to his room. It was obvious that Jaemin had been here a thousand times before by the comfortable absence he walked in. It was mindless, the way he wandered into Jeno's bedroom and plopped down on his queen sized mattress with a contented sigh. It was moments like this that reminded me what I was infringing on. Jeno was quick to fall down beside him and Jaemin cling to him like a koala to its tree. Though he whined some more, Jeno did nothing to push him away, instead pulling him closer and making room for myself on the bed. The friendship they had together was something special, something I didn't have, I knew as I sat tentatively on the edge.

"Hey, uh," Jeno's soft eyes peered up at me through a reddish face. "I'm sorry if that was, like, awkward or anything. Jaemin kind of said not to mention your parents and I didn't know whether to tell my mom that or not an-"

"It's fine Jeno," I cut him off not knowing if the rambling would end had I let him continue. "It's better if you don't mention it to her at all." I could feel the curiosity radiating off them both, but it was not a topic I felt comfortable enough to elaborate on. I was glad Jaemin had picked up on that and moved us along.

"So," he rolled onto his stomach, excitedly grinning at me. "That party."

I groaned. "You're not giving me a choice are you?"

"Well if you really don't-" Jaemin cut Jeno off with a very firm, "No."

"Jae, if he doesn't want to go-"

"You're the one who planned to kidnap him."

"Well yeah," Jeno was red again, "but I'm not gonna force him to party with us. Half the time I don't even want to go."

"But you do today and so does Renjun," Jaemin dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "We've got approximately two hours and it'll take me at least one for myself so we start right now."

I looked to Jeno only to see he was just as confused as I was. "Start what now?"

The sly smile that fell over Jaemin's face was something I remembered perfectly though I don't know if that was because it was memorable or because I knew that smile better than myself by now. Whatever the reason, I knew what trouble looked like when it came to Na Jaemin and this was it. After, I thought it had been a horrible idea. I wished for weeks that I hadn't gone, that I hadn't discovered what I had, but now I wouldn't change it for the world. That night would be an important one in my life for several reasons. It would be the night I realized rich people had way too much sway in the world. It would be the last time I ever had alcohol and the worst possible place for me to be drunk enough to say what I did, but the only thing that really still mattered about it was that New Years was the night of my first kiss and I wouldn't ever wish it away. It might've been enough to make everything that happened after worth it. Maybe.


End file.
